Divorce not Required, lead with Love
How it all Started
In 2000, I met my friend’s older brother; he had just landed from Texas and was visiting for the holidays. I had been single for about 2 years and was on a “woman-power, man-hater” streak. Have you been there lol!?
Somehow her brother grew on me, he was kind and giving and super patient. I liked him, I wanted him, but he wouldn’t make a move, (drove me nuts!)
4 months later he asked me on a date and on April 15th we were boyfriend and girlfriend. The very stressful, up and down, young adult relationship carried on for 7 years, in 2018 we were married, In 2011 we had our daughter and in 2019 we divorced. 2020 he remarried (ouch!)
The Ego strikes Women too
The divorce came from me feeling neglected, abandoned, & unloved. I made attempts to express what I felt, to get help, to make it better, to convince him that he was being a bad husband and needed to change, but it was to no avail. We continued to grow further and further apart.
I became hardened over time and when the topic of divorce came up, I jumped on the opportunity to bounce.
During the months where we were “trying to work it out”, it was misery and heartache. I didn’t care anymore, the man I once adored, and idolized no longer meant anything to me. His pleas, his attempts to make it better were null and void.
My ego and my pride had taken over. All I could think was, “Oh now you want to be better”, “Now you care about me, what about all those years where I begged for your attention, when I begged you to stay with us (my daughter and I) for a family weekend and you scoffed at me and called me naggy?”, “why now”, “I’m so over you”.
Curiosity brought Clarity
In the early months of our split, I became curious about what I had done wrong. Why had my husband not loved me, “Why did he not want to spend time with me”, “why was he rejecting me?”, “What was wrong with me”?
I was drawn to certain books, “Reforming Marriage” , “Feminine Appeal”, “Created to be his Helpmeet”, “Power of the Subconscious Mind”, “Men are from Mars Women are from Venus” and so many more!
God began to show me my role as a woman. He gently explained the feminine power I held within that I had repressed for so long. He showed me who I could be and what the outcome could be in the future, if I would just lean back and trust. I was shook.
On the daily I was noticing that a lot of disillusionment I had felt in the marriage was due to the narrative I kept playing in my head; It was due to my lack of awareness of what it really means to be a wife and mother. I had no idea what it even meant to be a woman. I had led my life in such a masculine, push, force, coerce, make it happen fashion, that any ounce of softness, gentless, patience, kindness, forgiveness had vanished.
I will not say that I wasn’t a good wife, I believe my deepest desire, was to be a good wife, to take care of our home, to take care of my husband, to support him and help him grow. This is what led to my dissapointment, I felt like I needed to be compensated with love and time for being such a good wife, lol, the nerve, the ego, the pride, the self-rightousness.
To be a good wife is really a sign of obedience to God before your husband. Your husband will not always acknowledge your good works, he may not notice them or celebrate them, much less reward you for them, but God does.
That was my biggest realization of all. I serve my husband, as unto the Lord! Wow.
I became certified in Life Coaching and then I took a Relationship Certification course because I was learning so much and wanted to teach women who to be in a relationship, how to be his ideal helper, how to love and respect your man.
…but I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about relationships….
A question of Worthiness
I felt unequipped, not worthy of speaking on relationships considering my “failed” one. So I began health and fitness coaching. I believe health and fitness saved me from deep depression when I was married. All those years that I had been feeling so lonely, I found my strength in health so I coached on that and it was going so well, but somehow my clients always ended up talking about their marriages, and dating and the pain and frustration they were feeling.
During our coaching calls, I found myself coaching them to be better wives, to serve their husbands, and obey them, to lead with love, to be forgiving, to not hold a record of wrong but to align with their femininity and let God do the rest. This is true feminine power.
God’s calling on my life
I soon realized that God had a calling on my life to teach on this subject because Divorce is not required.
In those moments of pain and frustration we do not see well, we are blind to the big picture. Emotions are high and intelligence is low. In these moments, running feels the best. To turn our back on our commitment feels the smartest. We cannot take it anymore, the pain is unbearable and we concede, we give up, we throw in the towel and we go our separate ways.
It is not necessary.
It does not have to be that way.
Your femininity is the healing potion you, your husband and your marriage needs right now.
Your femininity will shift the energy in the home
Your femininity will bring a love greater than your pain
Your femininity allows you to forgive without feeling like a doormat
Your femininity will heal his wounds and yours
Your femininity invites God to seal His deal over you
I am so grateful for this lesson, for this season, for these teachings.
I do not blame myself for the divorce, nor do I blame him. It is simply part of my story. My ex-husband and I have such a wonderful relationship (now–
lol). And it is highly due to my feminine power.
Gorgeous woman, you will go through so many moments in life that dont always make sense and I have come to find that the why isn’t the most important part. Instead, I love to see who I’ve become in this process. In the end that is what matters, what I do with what I’ve been through.
The Birth of She Roars
And so God spoke “She Roars” into me. And gorgeous woman, let me tell you, I struggled for a year to put this together. It is vulnerable, it was painful, it was scary but I did it. The course launched in 2021 and I have taught over 50 amazing women I met on IG and taught over 200 women at conferences. It is a true work of heart and I want to share it with you or anyone you know.
The course contains the original 5 videos from when I first received the calling to teach on relationships and feminine leadership and additional videos I added this year as I have grown in my learning.
She Roars
- 5 video-Digital Course
- Private FB group for peer to peer support
- Weekly journal prompts that activate your inner feminine
- 3 Bonus modules
- Life-time access
- 5 week voxer suppprt
$1499 *payment plans available
(a 1:1 coaching call with me added when you pay in full)
